


A Guided Tour of the Gift Mines

by arjache



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 18:19:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arjache/pseuds/arjache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is ROSE LALONDE and your private working space is filled to the brim with discarded gift projects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Guided Tour of the Gift Mines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cephalopod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cephalopod/gifts).



> In response to the prompt: "Terezi deserves nice things, and Rose kinda has a hard time giving out nice things. Something dealing with their tricky, punishingly abstracted approach to intimacy and bonding?"
> 
> Many thanks to my moirail/beta reader, who came up with the idea for both horn cozies and Cards Against Trollhood.

  
– grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] –

GA: What Is Your Latest Project   
TT: I beg your pardon?   
GA: You Were Locked In Your Private Office All Day   
GA: Clearly You Are Either Working On A New Creation Or You Were Playing Some Sort Of Elaborate Game Of Imagination Involving Being Trapped In An Office   
GA: In Which Case I Should Perhaps Congratulate You On Defeating Whatever Towering Menace Was Guarding The Key   
TT: Do most offices come with those?   
GA: In All Likelihood Though I Assume Youve Been Writing Or Knitting Something And Did Not Wish To Be Disturbed While Doing So   
GA: I Suppose It Is Possible You Were Working On A Violin Composition But I Would Have Heard You Doing so   
GA: I Also Note That You Have Yet To Answer My Inquiries With Anything Other Than More Questions   
GA: Which Suggests A Degree Of Evasiveness   
GA: Oh   
GA: Should I Not Be Pressing The Matter   
GA: Am I Meddling Too Much   
GA: Is This A Surprise I Am Not Meant To Know About   
TT: Mostly I’m just enjoying watching you carry on about it in that particular way that you do.   
GA: Oh   
GA: I Could Keep Going If You Like   
TT: Don’t let me stop you.   
TT: Though, I should clarify that there is a surprise involved. But it is one of which you are welcome to be privy to the details, if you so desire. But I would ask that you not reveal it to the others.   
GA: Ah So It Concer-   
TT: It concerns one of them.   
GA: Yes That   
GA: Is There A Particular Someone I Should Avoid Discussing It With   
TT: You’re just going to keep pressing me on this until I slip up and tell you, aren’t you.   
TT: Note the absence of question marks there.   
GA: Yes   
GA: Yes I Am   
TT: I’m working on something for Terezi.   
GA: Oh I See   
GA: What Is The Occasion   
TT: I was hoping for your help regarding that, actually.   
TT: Is there some sort of gift-giving holiday coming up on the Alternian calendar?   
TT: I realize Terezi’s squirming day is still a ways out…   
GA: Wriggling Day   
TT: Sorry, yes, that.   
GA: Every Day Is Squirming Day When It Comes To Terezi   
TT: Isn’t that the truth.   
TT: So, holiday suggestions?   
GA: Well   
GA: Hmm   
GA: What Quadrant   
TT: Are you implying troll holidays come in quadrants too?   
TT: Are they modeled after compass directions? Elemental affinities? Printer colors?   
GA: What   
GA: No   
GA: I Mean   
GA: Look Okay Do You Fancy Her And If So In What Way   
GA: Different Holidays Have Different Romantic Quadrant Associations   
GA: There Is The Feast Of The Holy Honking Martyr   
GA: The Festival Of Fuck You Buddy I Will Send You A Card If I Damn Well Please   
GA: The Night Of A Thousand Paps   
GA: And Of Course   
GA: Ashen Woundsday Aka If You Dont Stop Arguing This Instant I Swear I Will Turn This Ship Around And Then No One Will Get To Date Anyone   
TT: What if one is uncertain of which quadrant they may or may not fancy someone in?   
GA: Ah So You Have Decided To Couch This In A Hypothetical   
TT: Yes.   
GA: Look Why Not Just Give Her The Gift   
GA: Gifts Dont Need Reasons   
GA: They Just Are   
GA: You Clearly Like Her And Thats Making You All Awkward About Giving Her A Gift   
GA: Whereas If You Were Merely Friends I Suspect You Would In Fact Have A Much Easier Time Of It   
TT: It’s not that easy.   
GA: Sure It Is   
GA: You Gave Me That Lovely Bit Of Knitting A While Ago And Look How Simple It Was To Do So   
TT: That took me two months of cajoling by Dave to actually gift to you.   
GA: Oh   
GA: Come To Think Of It That Was Around When You Were Courting Me Wasnt It   
GA: Huh   
TT: Yes.   
TT: Now you understand.   
TT: Can I just check in here and make sure that you’re okay with this, btw?   
TT: I know we’ve talked about polyamory before, and it seems a bit premature since I’m not even certain what quadrant I like Terezi in so there might not even be an issue by even monamorous troll standards, but…   
GA: Yes Its Fine   
GA: You Are Being Adorable   
GA: You Have My Permission Nay Blessing To Pursue Even The Reddest Of Relationships With Our Miss Pyrope   
GA: Though I Admit For Your Sake I Hope Its Pale Because You Sound Like You Could Use Some Serious Shoosh Papping And There Is Only So Much I Can Do   
TT: Thank you.   
TT: Right, back into the gift mines I go.   


* * *

Your name is ROSE LALONDE and your private working space is filled to the brim with discarded gift projects. 

Kanaya was right in one respect: It was slightly easier to knit something for her because you only restarted the project about half a dozen times. Your gift to Terezi started as a small, innocuous bit of writing, then spiraled out of control as it changed form, media, and scope dozens of times as you began to second-guess every aspect of it. 

Your desk is littered with half-finished knitting projects: scalemate doll, scarf, gloves, sweater, horn cozies. Under and interspersed with the yarn are stacks of paper: TROLL COPS fan fiction, poetry, blatant self-insertion stories involving the two of you, a pilot script for a detective procedural loosely based off of Sherlock Holmes but with a lot more sniffing involved, a few pages worth of a very ambitious start on a novel… 

The problem, as you see it, is one of self-censorship: This work over here is not good enough for Terezi, this one over here is far too overwrought and would betray your newfound romantic interests in her. This one conveys the wrong tone, this one might offend due to cultural misunderstandings. There is no way to just be yourself and not be too much at the same time. 

Yes, that is exactly the problem: You are simultaneously too much yourself and yet somehow never meeting your own standards for yourself. 

It was easier when you were just scribbling in your notebooks without an audience. It is not quite as easy, but easy enough, with those who already know you so well; you have long ago stopped worrying what Dave thinks, for example, because you know that Dave has already seen so much of what you have already created that it seems pointless to worry about whatever work of yours he might see next. It is all one long line to him, a continuous process of evolution, and, you hope, improvement. 

Not so with strangers. And especially not so with those whom you might wish to impress. 

* * *

  
– gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] –

GC: K4N4Y4 WHY 1S ROS3 4CT1NG SO W31RD?   
GA: Erm   
GA: In What Way Do You Mean   
GC: 1 M34N H3R R3C3NT 3V4S1V3N3SS 4ND 4WKW4RDN3SS 4ND TH3 W4Y SH3 K33PS H1D1NG 1N H3R OFF1C3   
GA: I Cant Really Say   
GC: YOU DONT KNOW 31TH3R? >:[   
GA: No I Mean   
GA: I Cannot Say   
GA: It Would Be Improper For Me To Do So   
GA: Frankly I Am Surprised You Havent Figured It Out For Yourself Yet   
GA: Given Your Mind Powers And Your General Aptitude For Deduction   
GC: OH 1 KNOW SH3S OBS3SS1NG OV3R M4K1NG M3 4 G1FT   
GC: 1 THOUGHT TH4T W4S OBV1OUS   
GA: Erm   
GA: What Exactly Is Your Question Then   
GC: WHY H4S SH3 Y3T TO G1V3 M3 4NY?   
GA: Oh   
GA: You Know Im Not Entirely Sure Why Myself   
GC: M4YB3 1 SHOULD JUST T4LK TO H3R 4BOUT 1T   
GA: Um   
GA: Tell You What   
GA: Why Dont I Raise The Issue With Her First   
GA: Just In Case   
GC: 1N C4S3 OF WH4T   
GA: I Dont Know   
GA: Just Hold On A Second   
GC: OK4Y   


  
– grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] –

GA: Rose   
GA: Exactly How Many Times Have You Restarted Your Attempts To Create A Suitable Gift For Terezi   
TT: Too many.   
TT: I’m a failure, Kanaya.   
TT: I can’t finish anything.   
GA: Has It Occurred To You That You Could Be Spending That Time With Her Instead   
GA: Or With Me   
GA: Just Finish The Damn Scarf   
TT: The pattern’s all wrong.   
GA: Or The Cards Against Trollhood Deck   
TT: I don’t actually know enough about your culture to make it sufficiently biting.   
TT: I tried asking Karkat but he wouldn’t stop talking about Dave’s failure to sufficiently appreciate romantic comedies.   
GA: Or The Poetry   
TT: I decided the meter was better suited to a violin composition.   
GA: Or The Violin Composition   
TT: I decided the lyrics were better suited to poetry.   
GA: Or The Fan Fiction   
GA: Just Finish The Damn Fan Fiction Rose   
TT: I had an idea for an ending for that, but I’m not sure how to get to it.   
GA: It Doesnt Matter   
GA: Just End Whatever Scene Youre Currently Stuck On And Cut Straight To the Ending   
GA: Just Give Terezi Something   
GA: This Is Silly   


* * *

You walk over and drop a tiny gift-wrapped item in Terezi’s lap. 

She sniffs at it, and then tilts her head up at you. “What’s this?” she asks. 

“Open it.” 

She tears open the packaging (with her teeth, you note) and unveils a small, silvery object. 

“A key?” she asks. 

“The key to my private office. You’re welcome to come and hang out sometime while I work on things. I like hanging out with you,” you say, smiling. 

Terezi smiles back at you. “I’d like that.”


End file.
